Patriotic Americans had better brace themselves. According to sources who asked to remain anonymous, the washed-up QB plans to ask Nike for enough money to fund total extinction of the bald eagle.
Per those same sources, the former QB insists that sightings of the birds are tremendously offensive to millions of people around the World and especially traumatic to those who are the direct descendants of American slaves.
Apparently he watched a documentary on RVHC (Revisionist History Channel) where it was revealed that American Bald Eagles -- iconic symbols of the United States with unique snow white head feathering -- were first developed in the U.S. in the 1700's as a hybrid of the common European Brown Eagle, then trained by American white supremacists to fly above plantations to intimidate slaves who might try to escape.
When asked how in the world Nike could afford the billions of dollars it would take to eradicate the offending birds, Democratic Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris suggested that we currently have 1,000's of convicted murderers behind bars who could easily be paroled for the job.
Fellow candidate Cory Booker chimed-in that various police departments around the U.S. have seized millions of high-powered assault weapons that have been "just plain stolen" from convicted felons. "We already have the guns. We just have to get them into the right hands. The cops can donate the ammunition."
Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pointed out that Nike could probably raise billions in urban America by simply introducing a $299 sneaker to commemorate the extinction. She also suggested that millions of illegal immigrants would probably love to have a pair, which should be furnished at U.S. taxpayer expense.
ARE YOU PROUD OF THIS SYMBOL? THEN STAND UP AND BE COUNTED.
Per those same sources, the former QB insists that sightings of the birds are tremendously offensive to millions of people around the World and especially traumatic to those who are the direct descendants of American slaves.
Apparently he watched a documentary on RVHC (Revisionist History Channel) where it was revealed that American Bald Eagles -- iconic symbols of the United States with unique snow white head feathering -- were first developed in the U.S. in the 1700's as a hybrid of the common European Brown Eagle, then trained by American white supremacists to fly above plantations to intimidate slaves who might try to escape.
When asked how in the world Nike could afford the billions of dollars it would take to eradicate the offending birds, Democratic Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris suggested that we currently have 1,000's of convicted murderers behind bars who could easily be paroled for the job.
Fellow candidate Cory Booker chimed-in that various police departments around the U.S. have seized millions of high-powered assault weapons that have been "just plain stolen" from convicted felons. "We already have the guns. We just have to get them into the right hands. The cops can donate the ammunition."
Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pointed out that Nike could probably raise billions in urban America by simply introducing a $299 sneaker to commemorate the extinction. She also suggested that millions of illegal immigrants would probably love to have a pair, which should be furnished at U.S. taxpayer expense.
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If you want to remember what a bald eagle looks like, copy and save this picture. If you want to remember what a traditional U.S. flag looks like, better take a photo of one. The actual flag you now own may soon be confiscated. There's no guarantee that the new breed of radical anti-American politicians won't enact laws that make ownership of a U.S. flag a criminal offense.
ARE YOU PROUD OF THIS SYMBOL? THEN STAND UP AND BE COUNTED.
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