Next it was a guy from Miami Killian threatening to get on a bus to go up and beat some Coco(a) people's ass(e)s because they wouldn't agree that Killian was the overall best in the state.
Update on the Killian guy: After reading on here that the dude axed if he could get to Cocoa by bus, Nu'Trelle contacked Greyhound an warn them to be on the lookout for anyone who appear vindictive wearing green and gold gear, tryin to board in South Dade an head to Cocoa.
Greyhound officials thanked Nu'Trelle for the 411, then called him back bout hour later to said their driver had got the dude off the bus by telling him the bus had broke down and would need to be drove back to the garage for repairs. Dude bought the story and started walking. This was in Adventura.
By the time the dude reached Lighthouse Point, he had done wore out the soles on boof Keds. By the time he got to West Palm, boof his feet had got blistered up an infected. He stopped at a urgent care center whereupon he was sent directly to a trauma center, where surgeons attempted a emergency, bi-lateral sole transplant.
As soon as the dude come out of anesthesia, he walked out the hospital barefoot, and determined more than ever to make Cocoa by sunset. By the time he got into Ft. Pierce, he was down for the count. Had to be rushed to another trauma center. Both replaced soles had fell off and the infection had spread. To save the dude's life, doctors had to amputate both feet just above the ankles.
Dude checked out the next morning and headed North on crutches. By 10 am he had wore off the rubber tips. By lunchtime, he had done wore down each crutch about 18 inches, so he threw them in a dumpster, stopped at a Wal-Mart, bought hima roll of duck tape and started walking on his stubs.
By the time he reached Palm Bay, he had worn both leg down to the knee, plus run outta duck tape.
It was over 90 that day, but the dude was still wearin his Killian fleece. Passerby found him lying alongside US-1. He was rushed to a special trauma center for midgets in Merritt Island.
He died later that afternoon. After 90 days no one had come to claim the body. A funeral director from Cocoa who was stuck wiff a scratch and dent 48" casket offered to bury the man pro bono. Since the exterior of the casket was orange and black, they threw away the green and gold fleece and buried the dude in a Cocoa sweatshirt.
Said one of the cemetery workers, "48 inch casket, was this a kid?"
"No", said the guy drivin the hearse, "He was a full grown man."
"Musta been a damn midget then," replied the worker.
"No", said the hearse driver, "According to Greyhound he was 6'5 when he left Miami."